Close But Not Quite

Well, hello there sunshine.

2009-06-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

WOW ! It's been almost 2 months since I've blogged last. I apologize for the inconsistency with this. I've been incredibly busy anticipating summer ..

okay, so my dad totally fucking ruined my mood to blog.
this will be continued later, hopefully.

TA-TA loves <3

Vanity is Fair

2009-05-04T20:24:00.000-07:00

Today was better than most typical Mondays. Surprisingly. I laughed a lot, which always makes my days. I figured, hopefully I can get a summer job at Forever 21. I really think I'll enjoy it. What I'll enjoy most of all is the employee discount.

So, I keep getting assaulted by these persistent annoying huggers. They never leave me alone. I can't walk to get lunch without being accosted by these guys. I mean, it's all in good fun but they always stop me if I'm rushing somewhere. They're funny, but sometimes I need to be somewhere & it would really be lovely if I wasn't hassled for five minutes.

I need a guy.
I need money.
I need good grades.
I need new clothes.
I need a job.
I need change.

This week is going to be a good one. I can feel it in my bones (:

HOPEFULLY I'M NOT PROVEN WRONG.

-L.

Forrest Gump

2009-05-02T21:17:00.000-07:00

Today, since I decided to stay home & be lazy, I decided to watch Forrest Gump. I've seen parts of it before but I haven't ever watched it from beginning to end. & I did. And I think that was hardest I've ever cried at a movie. I cried for like 10 minutes. It's a really, really, really good movie.

It touched my heart.

It's my favorite movie now. Then, Under the Tuscan Sun.
Go watch them. I recommend it!

Au revoir,
-L.

Beautiful Nightmares

2009-05-01T20:56:00.000-07:00

Well, tonight has been absolutely terrible for a Friday. I really regret not going out when I had the chance & not deciding to stay at my dad's.

I'm full of endless complaints tonight so I caution you. My mood is not that of a good one.

So, today was ordinary. Nothing special. All my days are infinitely ordinary. I need a change. I need to shake things up. I don't have truly happy days anymore & that saddens me. God. How depressing.

-L.

You're Love is Nothing I Can't Fight

2009-04-30T19:46:00.000-07:00

So, today I was listening to one of Lady Gaga's songs, "Paper Gangsta" and a lyric came up that I happened to like. (I'm one of those people that uses lyrics to desrcibe my life. Lame lame lame)

It went: "I'm looking for love not an empty page full of stuff that means nothing."

& I was ABOUT to put it on my myspace, or twitter it, until I really thought about the meaning of it. I analyzed it. I sat there pondering. Then, I was like huh? I'm not looking for love. That's ridic.

See, I always laugh at people who are my age. And if they're having a deep conversation with me & we're discussing boys and such, if they so much as mention the three-syllable F word: Forever- I laugh in their face & walk away. Okay, well maybe not so harshly. But in my head that's how the said event would go down.

For example, I used to be really close with a friend. now, we became close in about sixth grade until maybe eighth. We always talked though and never really lost touch, we just kind of grew apart. And maybe it was more like I grew maturer and she eventually slowly progressed into her "teen" phases (ew, I hate referring to myself as a teen.) But, one day she met a guy. The same day, he asked her out.
"Will you go out with me?"
"Yes" Hug, hug, kiss, kiss. Blech, don't you just hate that corny way of asking someone out? It seems so juvenile. Like to make it official you have to utter those words. I would like my next relationship to be a slow progression into which we mutually UNDERSTAND that we're in a relationship. We don't have to officially say we're "together".

Anyways, my old friend became on the verge of obsession with this boy. He was an asshole in my opinion. And just plain grungy & disgusting. Desperately needed lesson 101: Personal Hygiene. Yet, she still was infatuated. Every myspace status she posted would always be something like "miss my baby. cant wait to see him friday." and her mood would be "miss him/luved" Yep, she spelled love like that. & DON'T GET ME WRONG! I adore my friend, even though she is still a tad bit immature, but hey everyone gets older on their own time. But then you would go to her page & it would be ALL about her boyfriend and how they were going to stay together FOREVER & EVER. Insert gag face---->

& of course, there are many similar stories like this one. They all ended. Needless to say, my friend's boyfriend broke up with her after she had practically built her life around him at the age of fifteen. I have to give the relationship props though. It lasted 9 months which is a hell of a lot longer than any of my relationships. Although, for two of those months her boyfriend was on that "camping trip"- explanation below.

I guess my point is, if you're still young (& I'll let it be up to you to interpret what age young is to you) don't get all hot & heavy. Don't search for love. Trust me, in this day and age I highly doubt you'll be able to find it at this age. That's my word of advice, which many rarely ever receive.

However, if you decide to ignore my wise words: Keep on searching by all means. Who am I to tell you what to do ? But if this boy goes on a "camping trip" for two months where he gets no cell phone or internet access therefore he can not contact you for said two months, I can tell you right now that's not your "love" so I would advise you to keep it pushin'.

Search or don't (I know I'm not),
-L.

In Your Brown Eyes

2009-04-29T19:19:00.000-07:00

I'm slowly realizing so many things that have slipped past my immediate attention.

I'm going to be nicer from now on. Realization has hit hard.

-L.

Let's Go See The Killers & Make out in the Bleachers

2009-04-27T21:02:00.000-07:00

So, today started off as your typical horrible Monday. I woke up with a sore throat fearing I had caught the Swine Flu. Ahhh! Attack of the pandemic. But thankfully, it didn't last all morning. Then, I managed to forget my cell phone at home for the first time in almost a year. It then dawned on me how much I rely on my cell phone because I became extremely irritable, which only worsened my sore throat. I went to school, late as always. Then I sat through boring English. Yes, Lord of the Flies is uninteresting to me. So sue me. I left school early then went & volunteered, which is always nice. It lets me concentrate on something not really important and allows me to calm down and just focus on whatever task I'm supposed to do. Plus, Mrs. Smith is just an absolute sweetheart. I can't believe how terrible I was in her class in eighth grade, haha. She asked me to help her with the Musical Review. It will be nice to finally get some artistic activity in my academic-filled schedule. It's been a while. So we're going to co-write the script together. Fun, fun!

I don't believe I've mentioned my promise to Clarissa to go running every other day each week so we can finally become fit again. Yes. it's happened like once. Something always comes up between the two of us. We have much busier schedules than we realized. But, tomorrow we're definitely going running again. I actually like it too. My only problem is I'm always so hungry and Skyler told me in order to be a good, athletic runner you mustn't eat a lot after you run. So, of course, after the first time we ran I was famished & we "ran" to Wendy's and ordered two cheeseburgers, fries, and a baked potato. Oh, and also a chocolate freezie. Haha. Then we ran back & scarfed it down like the fat children that we are. Hahaha (=

So, tomorrow is STAR testing and I can't really say I'm looking forward to it. But, I must get a good nights sleep because my grades are currently crap so I have to accel in every other way I can.

Bon voyage my loves !

xoxox,
-L.

I'm Looking for Myself Sober

2009-04-26T20:26:00.000-07:00

Well now, haven't I just been neglecting my blog? I apologize. I haven't really felt the need to write until now. So, I finally managed a whole week of school & this whole weekend was dedicated to me getting my grades up and searching for a good online drivers ed program. Finally I can get it. Yeah, pretty excited about it (:

I feel like my whole life right now is all about stress. I stress about stupid, material things. Yesterday, I went to the mall & got a mani/pedi which cost me $27(yes, I'm really about to list what I bought include their prices.), then I bought Charlie a ride on the Merry-go-round which was $1.50. After, I got him a Happy meal which was about $4.00. Then, I bought myself food which was $3.75 & after-against my instincts- I got $5.50 worth of candy. Yes. It was terrible. So like $42 I spent yesterday. & That was supposed to be clothes money. So now I'm figuring, I only have $44 left and some of that has to be for food and stuff during the week. Fuck man. I barely bought any clothes yet too. Gosh! See! I'm getting stressed just writing this. Ergh. And it's pointless materialistic worries.

AND if I don't get my grades yet I can't get a worker's permit, which means no summer job which means no money. Great. I don't know though. Maybe I can save up money. Ha.

Until we meet again,
L.

Please Don't Stay in Touch

2009-04-22T21:21:00.000-07:00

Look inside
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired, so sick and tired of all the hatred you harbor

So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Tokens of Love

2009-04-21T22:03:00.000-07:00

Well, today I got some rather disappointing news. I was told I have to do independent studies this summer, which I already knew, but I was also informed that if I don't get my grades up then I will not be allowed to attend school during the fall semester. Oh yay. This just isn't going to do .. but I have no other options. All I can do is work my ass of this summer and junior and senior year. I suppose ..

It has been so hot lately. I despise the heat ! And especially since my air conditioning broke down. Oh well, the weather forecast for tomorrow is cooler. I hope I dress accordingly. If it's hot and I'm wearing jeans I just might die.

Time for bed,
L.

With their tanks and their bombs and their guns

2009-04-19T02:44:00.000-07:00

I really should become more consistent with my blogging. But, I get extremely lazy. It's a terrible affliction.

I just cried my eyes out about the past and the overwhelming stress I haven't been able to shake for a while now. I was writing a message to an old family friend about family drama that's been going on and it all just sort of came streaming out, no holding back. Ah well, I feel better now. Not too much better, however. Eh, it's still progress right? It's strange. I still feel this heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

School is in one more day. Anxious. I don't want to go. Spring break went by so quickly. It was all a blur.

Well, Monday it's back to business. Clarissa and I have goals to go running every other day. I plan to accomplish my goal of getting a bikini bod' for beach season AKA summer. it can't come quick enough! I'll walk on the beach and people will be like who is this chick?! Haha, just kidding.

Be good &- like I always tell Clarissa- stay safe,
xoxoxoxoxo !
-Lexie

How Could You Do it ?

2009-04-14T16:42:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've been getting the urge to write a song. Or poetry. I so want to learn how to play the guitar or piano. A friend once told me if I'm going to learn, focus on learning the different chords and to not try to learn a song all of a sudden. I am extremely grateful he gave me this advice, because I most likely would have tried to learn a song all of a sudden.

I'm stressed about school at the moment. Yeah, not good. I worry about it too much.

This spring break has been nice so far, nothing too special. But it's still a break from school and that's joy in itself. I have plans for the rest of break & then the Ellen show on Saturday.
Tomorrow, I'm finally going to return some of the items I bought last Saturday. Then, Friday I'm finally going to check out the new Forever 21 that everyone seems to be raving about. Talk about enchanting?

Goodbye my dears.
-L.

PS. of course Disneyland soon(Sharissa). I'm anticipating it (: Let me know when.

Meet Me at the Top

2009-04-12T21:14:00.000-07:00

Hey there ! Let me just start out by saying I am exzauszausted :P I want to go to sleep as I type this and it's only 9:15 ! Haha. HAPPY EASTER :D So I had a pleasant Easter. I went to Ry's family's house in Riverside. It's a gorgeous house with an even more gorgeous backyard ! So spacious. The exact type of backyard I want when I'm older, plus a pool and jacuzzi of coursee [:

So, tomorrow I'm thinking the beach perhaps ? I want to go to Second Street and browse the boutiques but, I'm not tooo sure.
I SERIOUSLY would love to go to Disneyland and just immerse myself in the mystique-like atmosphere. I feel a need to ride Pirates of the Caribbean, my favorite ride since I was a little girl- besides the teacups and Peter Pan ride of course ! Aha. What is it about Disneyland that everyone adores so much ?

So, I'm going to head to bed. Sorry this was incredibly short and probably not too interesting.
My apologies a thousand times over ..
-L.

I'm Not the Complaint Department

2009-04-12T00:39:00.000-07:00

Hello, Hello! Just another midnight post (: An update, if you will.

Today I had Friscos for the first time and I have to say I was not impressed! I got pastrami, and I didn't know it was possible to fuck up pastrami but there you have it! I was sorely dissappointed. Then, I gave alll my little doggies a bath & dyed Prin pink. Haha, she looks just so adorable. She strongly resembles a pink marshmallow. Haha! Then I sat down and watched Xmen 1&2. Greaaaat. I wasn't too taken by it.

So now, here I am. Sleepy and probably should be immersed in dream land, but I am not. I'm going to settle in and watch Harry Potter.

Hope everyone has an amazing Easter tomorrow [:

Love,
L.

Gibberish

2009-04-08T22:22:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to write today. Just an update. I still haven't returned anything because I have an eye infection, so haven't had the chance or the will to go to the mall.

I don't want to be mad at this one boy. But I am. I don't think I'll let him know though, because that's exactly what she wants and I think this is one of the rare times I will remain passive aggressive.
I don't appreciate being kept track of through my online trails and the numerous places you can most probably.. hm, what's the word? STALK isn't the most appropriate one but it's the only thing that comes to mind. So yeah, at the moment I'm a little ticked off about that.

Tomorrow is school. Fantastic.

-L.

Loosen Up

2009-04-06T20:16:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling rather nostalgic today for some strange reason.

A million thoughts are racing through my mind. It's tiring not to be able to explain yourself clearly.

I just got done catching up with Gossip Girl. Seriously anticipating the next episode.

Currently reading "Remember Me?" by Sophie Kinsella. She's a really charming author. Although, so far, my all-time favorite novel of hers is still "Can You Keep a Secret?". That really had me laughing out loud. I adore reading!

Going to return to my book(=

xoxo,
-L.

What's even worse.

2009-04-05T19:56:00.000-07:00

So, yesterday I went shopping with Alexa. I had 300 dollars in my wallet. Actually, I had 300 on a Visa card, haha. But, we ate and then started our mission. Alexa wanted to get some things for her trip to New York during Spring Break. Mainly, she needed a jacket. Me? Well, I needed clothes and just new things in general. It was way past due that I get new stuff. So I think I'm pretty happy with what I got. Although, it made me really start to realize how little three hundred dollars can get you. Not that I'm not grateful! But, I'm starting to have a slight case of shopper's remorse. I'm sitting here contemplating what I can afford to return and what I can't. What I got was 2 purses- one was a cute handbag from Aldo(my splurge of the day .. 35$ !) it's a teal color & i adore it, then I got a sort of bohemian satchel. Then I got a pair of brown gladiator sandals, which I'm going to return. I don't need any more shoes I figured. A white scarf, I couldn't pass it up because I love the material and such. Then a floral bright blouse with ruffles- I know, I know. Sounds terrible; but it is extremely cute once you see it. A black dress, which I am going to return also, a fedora(extremely cute, I have been longing for one for a while now), a red striped tank top from Hollister which is also being returned, a white blouse from Abercrombie, a navy blue pullover from Abercrombie, and some medium blue ripped shorts from Abercrombie also. Seee how much I got ? Not that much ! And all I have left is only nearly forty dollars. Ergh. I actually need some new Vnecks also. I don't know. I need a job :| I want too many clothes. Ah. It's ridiculous. That is my current problem.
Then, there's the turmoil that's consumed my thoughts for almost the whole day. Drama. On twitter. Haha, it's the new Myspace. Ridiculous. I can't avoid it.

I'm wondering where I can apply for a job. Maybe, Forever21 ? It said they were accepting applications. But, I wouldn't be able to work until summer.

I dyed my hair black last night. I have to say, I'm delighted with the results. I was in need of a change.

Now I have to determine what I'm going to about my clothes situation. To return or not return? Stay tuned for the resolution!

LOVE,
Lexie

Fmylife.com

2009-04-03T22:30:00.000-07:00

"Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML"

I like you a lot, lot

2009-03-30T15:57:00.000-07:00

There are quite a few things I despise. I really despise it when someone puts a towel on the floor and expects me to use it afterward. Don't think so. I fear when a shadow runs under the crack in a door. Innocent it may be, but I have an overactive imagination. I hate disappointment. True disappointment. When you know you could have done so much better, but for some reason or another you weren't able to. If there's anything I can't stand- it's raw, emotional pain. When emotionally, you're hurting so badly it turns into physical pain. I dislike conflicted thoughts; making hasty decisions.

What I love is citrus-y smells. They create a vibrant energy that surrounds you. It produces positive thoughts. That's how I feel about a simple scent. I am amazed at the kindness that people present each day. I love the complexity of unraveling someone's personality. Even though I never will fully understand anyone. I adore when people remember the little things I tell them and refer back to them. When someone manages to concentrate on all the details, and not just the big picture. Most of all, I appreciate everyone that has ever made a difference- for the good, or the bad. Because all of it has taught me a thing or two, whether it's to be weary of those you trust or to remember that friendships don't always last forever, as much as we wish they would; they just don't, so cherish every single second. Don't be afraid to let others in, just do it with caution.

"...You left me boundaries of pain
Capacious as the sea,
Between eternity and time,
Your consciousness and me."
-Emily Dickinson

Ciao,
-L.

You Left a Mark

2009-03-28T00:18:00.001-07:00

Mood: Thoughtful
Listening to: Droplets by Colbie Caillat, uh no wait.. it just switched to Right as Rain by Adele

I apologize for the lack of blogging in the past few days, I could blame it on being busy .. but the fact of the matter is that I wasn't. I just didn't feel like blogging.

So, I have been reading numerous blogs by fantastic writers, among them my sister, who really make me think. I sit there and give my own analysis of their little peek inside their world. And some of these people, I don't even know. Yet, their writing draws me in. It envelopes me into a world in which I'm not too familiar with, but I still wish that I can stay .. In other words, I'm left wanting more. I, myself, value knowledge. I devour it.

However, the ironic part in all of this is that there seems to be a common theme among many of the blogs I'm following: Change. Yes, change. Inevitable change itself. I am terrified of change. I'll be the first to admit it. It scares me. It's enticing, at times, perhaps. But there is nothing worse than being comfortable and having it yanked out from underneath you. The warm safety of familiarity is probably one of the things I enjoy most about life, although there are few times I am able to enjoy it. For example, routine. If my routine is ever disrupted, I become somewhat upset. Change happens, however. I've matured. Those who I grow up with have matured also. Everyone likes to think that they don't drastically change. Although, the perspective is different when you're standing on the outside looking in. What depresses me the most is that we all used to once be friends, and now we smile at each other like we've just met yesterday. I find myself changing every day. I'm at a crossroads. There are so many things I want to be, styles that appeal to me, ideas that strike me as interesting. Then, realization dawned on me.. I can be everything I wish to be. I don't have to conform to just one title or label.

I strive for uniqueness. I've always felt like I had a special quality that set me apart from others, call it conceited or self absorbent if you will, but it's true. And to this day, I still have faith that I'm going to be famous. Eh, not to jinx it. Sure, I have my doubts. Then I think of my Plan B. But, I don't know how I can survive if I don't become successful in the music or entertainment industry. It's all I truly want to do. Then, I want to be a lawyer, photographer, interior designer, writer, and teacher. Haha. Oh boy. And if it's not all possible, I can tell you I'm going to make it possible. My determination would be so strong if it weren't for my laziness mingled with procrastination. Nonetheless, I know it's going to happen. All of it.

Keep dreaming,

-L.

I Just Want To Sing

2009-03-22T22:42:00.000-07:00

"Garden" - Mirah
Oh oh i really wanted that thing
I just want to sing
I love you baby
Won't you bring
All the flowers you
Find out in the garden
Don't tell me the truth
That your heart has hardened

But you don't want me anymore
How can it be
Look what you've done to me

Oh oh
Oh oh the bee does quickly sting
I was wondering
If you could maybe darling
Think? I'd give everything
If you'd grant my love a pardon
And all the fruits
Again would fill the garden

But you don't want me anymore
How can it be?
Look what you've done to me

-L.

Whispered fallacies.

2009-03-22T06:42:00.000-07:00

Yes ;) The above title is a fragment of a sentence from an essay that I just recently FINISHED!! Woo hoo!!! Ladies and gentleman, a round of applause for yours truly. "Ahem, AHEM-" she has to ahem twice due to the fact that the audience is cheering so loudly in pure pride for her, "Well, I'd like to thank my best friend for sitting there on the phone with me, no wait.. She DISTRACTED me from my essay. Alright, well I'd like to thank my sister, Madeline.. fuck, not her either. She seriously stole the computer back every chance she got.. Well alright, my mom? No.. Err.. Grandma? Nahh.. Well then, I'd like to thank Beyonce. Because without being able to put her song "Sweet dreams" on repeat, I would have never been able to get through the writing process"

Hahah. This is what lack of sleep does to you. WHY AM I STILL UP? Well, actually it's because I just wrote like 5 articles on Helium, but only published one because I am going to proofread it in the morning just to make sure that there are no errors.

SHIT. It's light outside. Now, I'm never going to sleep.

ADIOS,
I'm going to attempt to fall asleep, but probably fail miserably. On the other hand.. I AM extremely ezhausted.

Okay; Good night, er, morning. For the normal people

x's & o's!
-L.

Pieces of You

2009-03-21T23:58:00.000-07:00

I CAN'T GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD. Everywhere I turn he's there, reminding me. Everyday some thought or another pops into my head about him. & The sad, pathetic part about it is we don't even speak.

I need a whirlwind relationship. Yes, yes, yes.
My goal for the year: Find a whirlwind relationship before 2010

Impossible. Yes, I always seem to aim for the impossibilities.
I'm going to write a novel. It's decided.

My closing thought for the night: HELIUM.COM is the best thing to walk the halls of virtual cyberspace AKA the internet.

-L.

You're the Perfect Lullaby

2009-03-21T20:45:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty interesting.. After assuming I was going to stay home all day & just do homework and perhaps clean my room, I opted to head on a few errands with my Mom and Ryan- bringing Skyler along too, of course. So there we were- me, Madeline, my Mom, Ryan, and Skylieee- going down to Industrial city(I know ! It sounds like a horrid name for a city, like machinery and factories have consumed the city and what's left behind it metal & pollution in all it's glory) for some Dim Sum. Now, I myself have never been there but upon arriving I realized that it's a mainly Asian dominated population- hence the Dim Sum scouting. It's not a very pretty city, but there was no old metal lying around and the clouds were not of a smokey gray tone. I was able to breathe clearly and it was not dominated by the evil polluting emissions of harmful gases in the air. We arrived after a fairly long drive and entered a center in which the main store was 99 cent Ranch. I still believe one of my favorite lines of the day was "Some has road rage" in a sing-song tone, made by Skyler and directed towards Ryan. But Skyler was along so there were many favorite lines of the day, haha. So we finally found a parking space and walked into the restaurant where our Dim Sum awaited. It's really surprising to me that I have never had Dim Sum but I was ready to try it ; aha. Then we found out it was closed. So Ryan suggested a Korean grill place similar to Benihana. "Oh like Yoshinoya," Skyler said. Yeah, it took a while to drag myself from the floor after collapsing in laughter at this. We got in the car and drove to said grill restaurant. It was closed. FINALLY, we ended up at another Korean Grill place. Nothing glamorous, but nonetheless, a grill place & it was quite good. The restaurant was called "Feedable". Yeah, weird name.. After stuffing myself we headed back to the 99 Cent Ranch. We browsed around, which was nice.

Then, Skyler got dropped off and we went to Barnes and Noble, which I adore. But I hate it because I see so many books that I long for. I select dozens and dozens until I have a nice pile next to whichever corner I decide to cozy into and I read the first couple of pages of each books. Oh my, I love books. I'll never ever stop loving them. Monday, Skyler and I plan to go. He's going to wait with me while I endlessly read. I can't wait! I've decided to become a regular there. I'm never going to buy just read, read, read inside of Barnes and Noble.. which I feel bad for the author, but I have a lack of cash flow and all money I get needs to be directed towards my much needed new wardrobe.

So now I'm home. I'm exhausted. No, not really. I just say that often. Just to put noise out there. I'm sure others do too. Actually, I complain a lot. Just to say something. Oh, yes. This is the part where I re-read what I've written and realize how crazy I sound. Oh well.

I'm procrastinating sooooo much on this essay. God. But, I have a plan. I'm GOING to be successful even though this school year was a bust. But I'm going to try my hardest. That's all I can say. I have my set goals. OH ! & I finally got my planner(: Yay ! Now, my life can be so much more organized. I'm so happy :D Straight A's here I come !

.... Well, more like straight D's and C's. But you know what? Even though it sounds terrible, if you knew how much I've missed since the school year started you would be happy. I can do so much better, but unfortunately teacher's these days aren't so understanding so I'm going to have to accept this.

Alright. Time to go on Myspace some more and watch Youtube videos, while silently convincing myself that I'm going to finish this essay.

Very much love,
-L.

Dreams with a Purpose

2009-03-19T23:22:00.000-07:00

"I believe it important to emphasize how strongly I feel that books, just like people, have a destiny. Some invite sorrow, others joy, some both."
-Elie Wiesel, Night

I agree with this statement so strongly. Books are so powerful. A book can be successful. A book is much more than the author behind it. It's more than words spoken from a person. A book has a life of it's own. A book is a world you can immerse yourself in and forget all the noise of reality. A book lasts forever. Books have personalities and, at times, charisma. Sometimes, books have positive or negative impacts. Whatever feeling is left, it almost always is a strong one.

Buenos Noches,
-Lexie

Something Special

2009-03-19T13:34:00.000-07:00

I feel today that I should give you a bit of perspective on what I'm doing as I write this. Currently, I'm sitting up in my bed, three of my dogs are in the room with me; One is next to me, laying on her side, the other is laying at my feet, while the another is on the floor constantly itching herself. I stayed home sick. & I can't stand sore throats. To me, they're the worst part of being sick. Well that and the runny nose. I have just got done eating.. a bunch of stuff that isn't healthy for me.
Yes, my eating habits are atrocious. Today, I feel like I'm going to get some shocking news.
It has grown into an obsession with these two songs ; "Gotta have you" - the Weepies and "Garden" - Mirah. Go listen to them, I gave it a chance and was pleasantly surprised. Now it's your turn!(=

I'm reading Harry Potter over for the 16th gazillionth time. Yes, I'll never grow bored of Harry Potter or Twilight.

I had another tiff with my mother last night. Oh joy. & now the drowsiness from my medicine is coming on.

SORRY SORRY SORRY this was a pathetic excuse of a blog post, I'll catch you up later !

xoxo,
-Lexie

Cynical

2009-03-17T23:26:00.000-07:00

I think we should take the word forever out of our vocabulary. Nothing is forever, nor will it ever be. We're too human to achieve forever. Everything in our DNA goes against forever.

Forever.
Ha. What a joke.

I'm heading to bed now. I have to wake up to four more hours of testing and whatnot.
Oh joy.

-Lexie

In a perfect world

2009-03-17T21:16:00.000-07:00

the word "victim" would not exist.

My Destination.

2009-03-15T23:48:00.000-07:00

I haven't arrived yet, to this mystical place that I desire to be. But today I felt like I was getting there. I have come to terms with quite a few things. I have accepted that I've moved on from that stupid relationship I spent so many thoughts on.. Well, no that's a lie. It'll probably come up in my thoughts tomorrow. But nonetheless, I am on track once again. School-wise I am going to definitely accel. I know I can do so much better, but my laziness hasn't allowed it. Finally, once again I am going to be a productive human being. I haven't has a reconciliation with my mother. Yeah, that's not going to happen any time soon either. SO for now, I am going to settle for civilized cohabiting with each other.
I am going to be more organized, in everything I do; my thoughts and schoolwork. I'm going to watch my mouth more carefully from now on. I am not going to let my emotions get the better of me. From now on, no more petty little drama fights. They are so unbecoming, and why sit there and try to prove a point to an uneducated, ignorant human being? They're obviously clouded by their own selfish thoughts. But I do ask that they come up with better one-liners. They were a bore to read.
I'm sorry I'm rambling and you probably haven't the slightest clue what I'm talking about. Bear with me. This is a midnight post and I thought I'd make the best of it, from my point of view.
Recently, after hearing the announcement of the No Doubt tour, I have become infatuated with their songs. I wish I could get tickets, but that's not happening. I'm trying to my hardest not to spend every chance I get. I'm not going to waste it all on food anymore, I swear. I need to save up for clothes. I am in desperate need of a job. But before that happens, my grades need to go up. And I'm not even sure that can be made possible. Hopefully, it can.
Boy, boys, boys. Do I even have time to deal with them? But I like the thought of pointless flirting. Let's just stick to that. Because, every time a boy happens to come into my life, well it's not as if I become irresponsible and focus all my attention on him.. I jut waste more energy thinking about said guy and it's much more energy than I wish to spend on one teeny, tiny, unimportant boy.

Well, it's time I take a page out of my sister's book,
Stay Classy- as she would say.

Au revoir,
Lexie

Yes!

2009-03-15T14:19:00.000-07:00

Mood: Determined
Listening to: the quiet hum of my Laptop

Perhaps everything does happen for a reason, contrary to my belief.. Well, I wouldn't go so far as that but this probably has happened for a reason.

Goal for this week: Staying focused, getting back on track
My mantra: I think I can(:

031209.

2009-03-12T13:55:00.000-07:00

I don't wanna hurt you cause I don't think it's a virtue
But you and I have come to our end
Believe me when I tell you that I never wanna see you again
And please can you stop calling cause it's getting really boring
And I've told you I don't want to be friends
Believe me when I tell you that I never wanna see you again

How on earth could I be any more obvious?
It never really did and now it's never gonna happen with the two of us
I don't understand what it is that you're chasing after
But it makes me really sad to hear you sound so desperate
It just makes it harder

Fading Away

2009-03-10T20:07:00.000-07:00

Well, hasn't this just been a drama-filled weekend? Much to my displeasure.

You're all ignorant & pathetic.

-Lexie

Right as Rain

2009-03-09T19:50:00.000-07:00

My goal for the week: Not to condemn those who have different views or opinions than me.

No Such Thing

2009-03-08T10:38:00.000-07:00

You know, I think I'm just on a roll today. I'm fairly annoyed at censorship. Rappers that have no originality. Unoriginality in general, actually. The lack of sensible people at my school. But, it is high school so what did I expect? The challenge of everything. Nothing comes easy. And while some may embrace that, let me be the first to say that I would appreciate it if something was easy every once in a while. Why must we work so hard to- dare i say it?- live?

I'm irritated that I'm unsure what to do. Torn decisions. Because I'm going to have to make one very soon. And it's not going to be a right or wrong decision. It's one of those decisions that is going to have it's pros & cons, but in the end you're going to have to severely analyze it to determine whether or not it was the right or wrong one. I'm irritated at negativity, though I, myself, am being rather negative in this post. But come on! I try to be positive. I actually strive for positivity and happiness. But then again, what majority of the human race doesn't?

I'm extremely frustrated with how the school system works. And in my opinion, it's not effective. I mean, don't get me wrong. It's not like I learn absolutely NOTHING. But I feel so rushed. As if, I'm so busy trying to get enough CREDITS to graduate I don't have time to slow down and smell the roses. Perhaps, this system is all they can come up with for now.. but, I'm sure there's a much more effective one out there. We've lost sight of what education and learning is really supposed to be about. It's supposed to inform young minds. Transfer knowledge.

I can't stand trust. How long it takes to build it up and how fast it can be destroyed. It's all unfair. And I hate the saying, "Life's unfair." Well it may be, but that doesn't justify shit. Oh, excuse the language once more. It all correlates with life being hard. I'm just tired of it all.

And there you have it, my morning rant. I think I've managed to use six synonyms of annoyed, ha.

-Lexie

030809.

2009-03-08T10:27:00.000-07:00

So my mood this morning is currently annoyed.

There's many things I'm upset about & one of them is my annoying relationship. Fuck immaturity. Pardon my french. I'm so aggravated right now. And my thoughts are pondering what I should do. Eh, oh well. Let's save our troubles for a rainy day.

Sharissa and Madeline are still sleeping. As always, haha.

I'm stuck on what I want to eat. I can't decide.

Until we meet again,
Lexie

030709.

2009-03-07T10:08:00.000-08:00

I'm pleased to say that this is a good morning. And I have high hopes for the weekend. Last night was quite fun(= Sharissa and Skyler came over and we all danced in the dark in my room, numerous times. And then we had a lovely little chat with Amber and Danielle(haha, Sharissa). Then we ate dinner, filmed a new Sharissa and Lexie at 6:30, interviewing Sky which you can find here: youtube.com/lexieandsharissa. Yep. Uno was fun, also. Skyler & I made alliances, haha.

So Sharissa stayed the night and I think my sister, her, and I are going to perhaps get our nails done. Then who knows? Who's up for window shopping at Huntington? Me(=

Well, catch me later!

"You look like giraffes, right before they're about to mate" - SkylerM.

XOXO,
Lexie(:

Desperation

2009-03-05T11:21:00.000-08:00

So, I'm shopping online and I have figured out I want way too much. And I get myself into these silly little predicaments, because I always find something and then I reason with myself: "Well if I get this, then I'm going to have to get something to go with that."

I mean it's absolutely ridiculous. Yet, I still do it.

Anyways here's some of the things I'm going to get:

& That's my lovely list(=

Ta-ta,
Lexie

You're So Two Thousand and Late

2009-03-04T18:54:00.000-08:00

I'm stuffed, at the risk of using that dreadful word. It's the only adjective I can use to describe myself.

Supermex is alright, I don't think I want to go back. Yeah, me and Clarissa say that all the time.. yet, we always find ourselves walking into Supermex.

I'm off for the night.
Sorry this was so short,

-Lexie

Lingering Thoughts

2009-03-04T10:53:00.000-08:00

Rainy days. Those two words are incomprehensible to me. I live in Southern California, therefore I refuse to accept the fact that it rains on us. Rain in California is disgusting, it's not even the slightest bit as magnificent as it is in New York. & Is it just me or do Californians decide to drive so much faster in the rain? & There's ALWAYS an accident on the way to school so I have to leave the house ten minutes earlier, just to guarantee I'm not tardy for the six billionth time.

I grow rather tired of the endlessness cold also.

Well, I'm going to have lunch with my best friend.

Arrivedercci,
Lexie

& the air did not move

2009-03-03T10:27:00.000-08:00

Movies I have watched in the last two days:
Resident Evil 3
Shutter
The Wedding Planner
Gone With the Wind
It Happened One Night
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins
Hannah Montana
Fool's Gold

It's been a dreary, long two days. Eye infections are definitely not fun.

Shameless

2009-02-28T14:32:00.000-08:00

"We bit our lips
She looked out the window
Rollin tiny balls of napkin paper
I played a quick game of chess with the salt and pepper shaker
& I could see clearly
and the telephone line was drawn
between what was good, what just slipped out, and what went wrong
oh, the way she feels about me has changed
Thanks for playing
Try Again.
How could I forget
mama said, think before speaking
No filter in my head"

Adios,

-Lexie

I wish I was six again

2009-02-27T16:58:00.000-08:00

I'm simply exhausted. Back to school. It's the same. I woke up late, on account of me not being able to fall asleep last night AGAIN. Headed off to school, thought I was going to be late.. But thank god, I wasn't. Sat through a boring English class, I have no clue what we're doing in there so I resorted to discussing the shitlist. Oh yes, boring, boring, boring. Then nutrition rolled around; Greaat. Ten more minutes to waste in my life. History wasn't anything special, either. It dragged on. Although, I love making Mr. Northcraft uncomfortable. We offered to make shirts with his photograph on it. But he wouldn't let us take a picture of him. I mean, what's the point then? Haha. Then the school day went on, but I did meet someone new while waiting in the drab office for a new schedule to be printed up. His name's Asher. Nice name. I told him so. Haha, what a character. We found out we had to get on the same bus, but then I opted to head to lunch with my Mom and Ryan, so I had to leave him at the bus stop. I felt kind of bad about that. The people pleaser within me always hates to leave people by themselves. Lunch at Olive Garden. It was disgusting. Restaurants never can please me anymore. First El Torito and now this. Ugh.

Tonight not much special is planned.

I really want to get a new laptop. Mine is going incredibly slow.

Lately I've been thinking about all the intricacies of a stable relationship. And let me tell you, I have an extremely unstable relationship. Hah.

Well, I'm exhausted so Bye for now(=

-Lexie

Barefoot Wishes

2009-02-26T18:40:00.000-08:00

Mood: Subdued
Listening to: Breathe by Taylor Swift & Colbie Caillait

So this shall be the last post of today. It's been an uneventful day. Enchilada's for dinner. My Ipod is blasting. Sister's in my face. Lovely. Tomorrow will be better, it's a friday and I have high expectations.

Earlier, I was watching Sex...With Mom and Dad. It's a truly annoying show.

Lakewood Shitlist came out. All I can say is pathetic. If you're going to come out with a shitlist, at least attempt to make sense.

Drivers permit soon(= EXCITEDEXCITEDEXCITED ! Anything's going to be better than taking the bus and walking everywhere. My oh my. There's nothing I hate more than the paranoia when walking alone.

I'm going to school tomorrow. I missed Mr. Northcraft's embarrassed expressions. So I'm signing off for the day.

-Lexie

Puzzling Downfall

2009-02-26T14:27:00.000-08:00

This is my third post of the day. Pathetic, Pathetic, Pathetic. So far.. I have done nothing. Updated my ipod, but that wasn't as satisfying as I thought it would be. I am in need of some new, refreshing & invigorating music.

I've been browsing flickr, just browsing. And I came across this picture. Love at first sight-

I'm absolutely dying to get my new camera & just go out and start taking pictures.

Oh my, Zac's saying he can't come over. Today just is going to be endlessly boring. Great.

Love always,
Lexie

Who will save your soul?

2009-02-26T12:20:00.001-08:00

Contemplating, deciding, choices..

Today is confusing so far.

Fashion week in Paris is coming up soon. March 5th. I'm truly excited. Some of the collections from last year were amazing.

"Who will save your soul, if you won't save your own"

-Lexie

Hallucinatory Nose

2009-02-26T09:49:00.000-08:00

In order to amuse myself, I've decided to blog.

Today seems like nothing special.

I am anticipating "Beach, Yogurtland, Running, Swimming, Skyler, & I".

It smells like marijuana around my whole house. But I'm sick & my nose often imagines things. Like once at El Torito with Clarissa, I could swear the lingering scent of rubbing alcohol was in the air.

Haha, I have a hallucinatory nose.

Sharissa says she wants to go to Disneyland, and I would love to go. Disneyland has an electric feeling to it. Much different than Knotts Berry Farm or any other amusement park. I suppose it's because I rarely ever go to Disneyland.

At the moment it's gloomy outside. I long for sunshine.

Well, I'm off. Ta-ta for now.

-Lexie